Hi friends, Soul here, and today I want to share with you 5 life lessons that I learned the hard way.
The truth of the matter is; these were the 5 biggest life lessons I learned last year.
I am a firm believer that we are all connected and that what I went through might be something that you or someone you know is going through, too. On top of that, I might be something that you already went through but due to the pain of the events that transpired when you were in the thick of it, you didn’t even notice the life lesson there.
When we are open and willing to learn from one another, we open ourselves up to growth, healing, and transformation.
I hope this post brings peace to your mind and healing to your heart <3
Here are my top 5 life lessons:
1. Trust is the most expensive thing ever. It takes years to build and only second to destroy
This was the hardest and heavest lesson to learn. As a child, I always learned the hard way that people break your trust. As an adult, it wasn’t any better. Sad, but true! Yet, I still believe in giving people a chance. Believing in people is essential if you want to live life fully and not from the space of scarcity or pain.
The key thing to do is to define what TRUST means to you? So then, when people dishonor your trust, you can address it head-on.
And, when it comes to trust and people, there are two types of people:
- The Trustworthy: these are people who prove their worth via actions, not just words.
- The Fakes: these are people who talk, talk, talk but actions don’t reflect the words they say.
2. Fake friends are the easiest to find but the hardest to get rid of
In life lesson # 1, I alluded to the fakes, in this lesson, I’ll explain further.
See, as kids, we were more in touch with that gut feeling that kicks in the minute we meet somebody. We either instantly like or dislike them. Now as we grew older, society and school started to teach us all about acceptance and being nice to people. While that is key and I am a big proponent of the golden rule: “Treat people the way you like to be treated”, I have noticed that by discarding our gut feeling, fake people sneak in.
Fake people especially when they enter your life, they steal your joy. They rob you of your energy and they add no value to your life.
So the next time your gut feeling kicks in about a certain person, simply observe and see what comes of off that feeling before you let that person in too close.
3. Love is kind but loving can be brutal
This was a tough life lesson, too!
I am a big lovebug! I love everyone and everything!
And while love is this fuzzy, warm, and sweet thing. Loving on the other hand can be tough and riddled with pain.
Trust me guys, I am not saying that if you are loving you’ll experience pain. On the contrary, when you love, you attract more love. But at the same time, with loving others, we must accept the fact that when we are loving towards other humans, there is room for disappointment and heartbreak. Humans make mistakes and sometimes those mistakes can be brutal. That’s why I made the distinction that “love is kind” but the “act of loving” can be brutal at times.
What do you think? Let me know your thoughts in the comments section under this post.
4. Failure is only as painful as you let it be
I love to fail! That’s a big, bold statement to make, I know!
From my own life journey, I have learned that in order to win, you must be willing to fail. Those who win more, are the ones who fail more.
That’s why instead of getting hard on myself when I fail at something, I look for what can I learn from that failure.
Last year, I hit an EPIC FAIL! It actually bankrupted me. Was it painful? Very! Was it good for me? 100%.
See that epic fail I mentioned is what pushed me to return to writing and to do what I love which is being creative. Another thing I learned from that failure is to set my boundaries and not to ignore red flags when I see them with co-workers and colleagues.
5. Be helpful but set boundaries
In life lesson # 4 I mentioned the importance of boundaries. It’s actually so important that I wrote a whole article about it, please read it here.
In this article, I want to take the time to explain the difference between being helpful and being a doormat! Sorry for using such a harsh example, but sometimes we must paint the picture as it is for us to see the light.
See, I am a helper. I love to help people. Any helpers in the house, who resonate with this?
One of the pitfalls of helpers is helping too much! Sometimes, when we assume the role of a helper because it’s in our hearts to serve, we disregard our own wellbeing in the name of helping. If you’re getting hurt by you lending help to another human, then guess what, you’re not doing it right. When you’re helping from the right space, it feels amazing and you feel fulfilled.
So next time you’re about to help someone, ask yourself the question, “Am I being helpful or am I dishonoring myself just cause I don’t want to say No?” Be honest with your self.
Alright, my friends, these were 5 life lessons I learned last year.
Which one did you like or dislike? Let’s keep the discussion going in the comments area 🙂
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